To kgbkgb's Survey Compilers, With Love

Kgb just put up a survey on their site, which appears in a pop-up window titled 'KGB Survey.' The introduction reads 'Answering questions is very rewarding. We should know. Please take this quick survey to help us better help you.'

We've decided to publish the answers to their survey; the numeric/alpha ordering is of our own creation. Have fun:

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1. kgbkgb: Have you ever texted a question to kgb, or not?

Jamptap: Have you not ever taken an English class?

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2. kgbkgb: What is the main reason you haven’t texted a question to kgb?

Jamptap: Because ChaCha is free. And why would I rely on kgbkgb for good information when they can't do something as simple as uneventfully registering a trademark?

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3. kgbkgb: About how many text messages did you send/receive last month?

None
1 to 9 messages
10 to 19 messages
20 to 49 messages
50 to 99 messages
100 to 199 messages
200 to 299 messages
300 to 499 messages
500 to 999 messages
1000 or more messages

Jamptap: 50 to 99 messages. And, although you haven't asked, kgbkgb was even the subject of a few of them!

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4. kgbkgb: Can your mobile phone access the Internet, or not?

Jamptap: Can you, or not, stop asking questions like that, or not?

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5. kgbkgb: Where do you live? [list of states]

Jamptap: Why? Is the 'kgbkgb tour' coming to my state?

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6. kgbkgb: Are you...?

a. Male
b. Female

Jamptap: Are you...?

a. a 12 year-old programmer
b. All of the above

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7. kgbkgb:What is your age?

Under 18
18-24
25-29
30-34
35-39
40-44
45-49
50+

Jamptap:Ok. So by now kgbkgb would know what kind of cellular subscription I have, what state I live in, my gender, and now a close approximation of my age. I'm starting to get worried.

7b. kgbkgb: What is your annual household income?

Under $25,000
$25,000 to under $50,000
$50,000 to under $75,000
$75,000 to under $100,000
$100,000 to under $150,000
$150,000 to under $250,000
$250,000 and up

Jamptap: Oh I give up. Will my personal information become associated, or not, with my IP address? Hmmmm.

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kgbkgb: Finished? Submit Your Survey.

We appreciate your time. Love, KGB

Jamptap: We love you too kgb.